Feminesis Notes Women's health · 5 min read

7 things Australian women were told before anyone said the word "perimenopause"

In 2024, hundreds of women wrote to the Senate about what happened when they asked for help. Most of their stories start the same way.

By Nicole, 47 · Geelong, VictoriaTwo doctors told me it was stress. I believed them for eighteen months.

Nicole's story is a composite, built from accounts Australian women gave the 2024 Senate inquiry. Every quote below is real, and sourced at the end.

A woman awake at night, sitting on the edge of her bed
3am, again. It started at 44.

I started reading the Senate inquiry at 3am, which tells you something.

What I found wasn't a report. It was hundreds of women, in their own words, describing the conversation I'd had twice: sit down, list what's wrong, get sent home with a word that isn't the right one.

These are the seven things they were told. Some of them may sound familiar.

1

"It's probably stress."

She dismissed me and said, 'You're far too young.' I was 45. That's prime perimenopausal age. She tried to convince me that this was just the stress of midlife… and basically just to suck it up.Jennifer, Brisbane. Senate inquiry hearing, July 2024.

Jennifer's periods were regular. She had never had a hot flush. A few days after turning 45, she stopped being able to sleep. She went in with exactly that, and came out with stress.

A woman listening to her GP across a desk
"You've got a lot on." The first appointment took ten minutes.
What I understand now"Can't sleep, anxious, tired" looks like stress in a short appointment. And nobody asks about your cycle when you're still having one.
2

"Not one doctor mentioned it."

I had no understanding of what on earth was happening to my body because not one of my doctors had ever mentioned perimenopause to me throughout my 40's.Name withheld, submission 125. Senate inquiry, 2024.

A decade of appointments, and the word never comes up. So you never think to ask.

Where it usually starts

Average age of menopause in Australia: 51. The first changes usually begin in the mid-forties, while periods are still regular. Source: Jean Hailes for Women's Health.

Regular periods are not the all-clear most of us assume.

3

"Your bloods are normal."

It is nigh on impossible to get help through a GP… wanting to send me off for a blood test to measure hormones. Like seriously. One blood test is not going to help!Anonymous respondent, Jean Hailes submission to the Senate inquiry.

My second doctor did the blood test. It came back normal. I felt relieved for about a day, and then worse. If the numbers were fine, the problem had to be me.

A woman reading her blood test results in her kitchen
45. The results came back normal.
What I understand nowIn your forties, hormones swing week to week, so one test can read normal and rule nothing out. The Australasian Menopause Society says that over 45, the diagnosis is made on your symptoms and your cycle.
Not sure where you are?Take the 60-second check. No email needed.
4

"Meditate."

I was sent on my way with a pat on the head and a suggestion to 'meditate'. I drove home in tears, blaming myself for not being strong enough.Shelly, 45 when it started. SBS Insight.

Read the second sentence again. Not the symptom. The conclusion. "I decided it was me" is the part that costs the most.

How many women notice changes

About 4 in 5 women report symptoms. Only 1 in 5 report none.

Australasian Menopause Society, "What is menopause" information sheet.

5

"Mad or sad."

I asked my GP if it could be a symptom of menopause, and he said, 'All I learnt at med school was that menopausal women were either mad or sad.'Sandy. Senate inquiry hearing, June 2024.

I don't think he was a bad doctor. I think he was honest about his training. The Senate heard the same thing from doctors themselves: very little on menopause across a whole degree.

6

"Five years."

It was only when the night sweats and hot flushes kicked in that my GP said the word 'perimenopause'. That was almost five years after my original symptoms…Imogen, Melbourne. Senate inquiry hearing, June 2024.

What Imogen counted

1,825days without the word
1,300of them, working days

Imogen, Senate inquiry hearing, June 2024.

That's what not knowing costs. Not a symptom. The years.

7

"Maybe you're peri."

Then I spoke to a girlfriend over coffee and said: 'Look, I'm really struggling at work. I just have no idea what's happening.' She said, 'Oh, maybe you're peri.'Rebecca. Senate inquiry hearing, June 2024.

A friend. Over coffee. That's how most of us finally hear the word, years after the first bad night.

Two women talking over coffee at a kitchen table
Mine was a nurse. She said one more thing I've never forgotten.

"Write it all down. Dates, how often, how bad. And bring the page."

8

The one that changed"Why didn't anyone pick this up earlier?"

That's what the doctor said, reading one page of notes I'd brought to a long appointment. After eighteen months of "it's probably stress", that appointment was different, because of a page.

A woman handing a single page of notes to her doctor
46. One page, four weeks of notes, a long appointment.

I'm not a doctor and I won't pretend to be one. I'm the woman who found out that the distance between being dismissed and being taken seriously was one page and the right words.

So I wrote them down properly, with what I wish someone had explained to me first: what is actually happening, why a short appointment misses it, and what to bring so it doesn't.

The guides I should have been handed

Understand what's happening. Walk in prepared.

Three Feminesis guides, two bonus booklets and a 12-week tracker on a kitchen table
  • One guide for each stage. Perimenopause, menopause, post-menopause, in plain English.
  • The Doctor Kit. A one-page summary for your GP and 12 questions, word for word.
  • Written for Australia. Medicare, and guidance from the Australasian Menopause Society and Jean Hailes.
Read the first pages

30-day Appointment Guarantee · Instant access

Not sure which stage? Take the 60-second check
NicoleIf you're reading this at 3am: you're not going mad. Nobody explained this to you. That's not you, that's the silence around it.
Sources. Parliament of Australia, Senate Community Affairs References Committee, "Issues related to menopause and perimenopause", 2024. Australasian Menopause Society, "What is menopause" information sheet. Jean Hailes for Women's Health, "About menopause". SBS Insight. Quotes reproduced from the public record, names as published. Nicole is a composite voice. Feminesis is an educational resource, not medical advice. If you experience heavy, prolonged or post-menopausal bleeding, see your GP.